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Has anyone breastfed their first child but not their second? And what were your reasons and how did you feel?

I was diagnosed with epilepsy when my little was 8 months old. She is now 20 months old. I am on keppra, 2000 mg a day. But I have started having break through seizures so I think I may need to change my dosage/switch meds. My husband and I want to TTC and I have an appt with my OB and neuro at the end of this month and hopefully they will give us the OK go to TTC. Because even though I am still having seizures, I only get simple partials which means I never black out or don't know what's happening.

However, the seizures really do make me feel depressed and out of control of my life when they happen often, so I want to get them under control again. For a while I was having clusters of simple partials for hours on end. It was exhausting. However, from what I have read, keppra is one of the best meds to be on if you are pregnant. So I want to be able to have a healthy baby, but I also want to get my seizures under control.

So I'm thinking I will try to stick it out w the keppra, but if my neuro wants me to try something different I will, I just want to wait till after #2. And I know that may mean I might not be able to breastfeed. Which really breaks my heart, but struggling with epilepsy has really taken a toll on me. I'm finally putting more weight on but for a while I was 20 lbs under weight because I was so upset about the seizures. I just want what is best for my babies, but also what is best for me. I don't want to feel guilty about not nursing, but I also want to be seizure free and I would prefer to nurse if I can.

What do y'all think? And if you are a mama w E please share your story!! Thanks!
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